HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Today is my birthday.

I've been out to eat at my favorite restaurant (last night to kick things off),

I've had many hugs and "I love yous" from my two wonderful children,

I've had flirty attention from my fabulous husband,

Greetings from my Mom,

A phone call from my sister,

A perfectly relaxing and enlightening session with my acupuncturist,

Time in my favorite coffee shop next to a cute college boy (Hey, I'm not too old for that!)

and

 32 happy birthdays from my face book friends and counting.

Whoever reads this--HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Wherever you are, whenever you were born I wish you

JOY!!

Always.

XO

♥~K.

Giving Gives

From Mom



For my Mom's 70th birthday, my sister, brother and I threw her a party. We made yummy food, hid my brother and his girls (who came from out-of-town) to surprise her, and gave her as a gift a Mother's ring.

A ruby for Lisa, an emerald for me, and a citrine for Dane.

My Mom's reaction??

JOY, JOY, JOY!!

Who could have known what this would all mean to her? Mom sent each of us thank you notes, but what I will never forget is what she said that day...

"This has been one of the greatest days of my life."

It has long been known that showering others with our gifts and talents is a tried and true path to happiness. It's easy to get so caught up in the giving that troubles are forgotten, and the love in life, the beauty in each of us that is always there, glows with a lifting energy that sustains us as human beings. If we look closely we will see we are in a magic place when time stops, and all that matters is the teary smile on our Mother's face. Her heart full to bursting.

One of the greatest days of my life.

May you find a way today to give, because it heals, because it fulfills, because it brings joy,

♥ K.

Crazy Praise--Part Two

Two weeks ago (plus a few days) I posted Crazy Praise--Part One.

In it, I offered up a challenge to anyone willing to join me for five minutes a day of out loud praise for our fingers, toes, ears, nose, and on down to the arms, tummies, hips and thighs.

It has been an enlightening two weeks for me.

What began as an experiment in kindness became a LOVE FEST.

This might sound nuts, but I realized that the extra weight I may carry on my hips and thighs is just my body's way of doing its job. She's taking care of me by storing up for the lean times. That's how I'm built.

How can I continue to hate on myself for doing what I was built to do?

I can lovingly work to lighten the load by taking in more fresh air than brownies, going on more walks than pizza runs, and spending more time in gratitude for all my body is than in dissatisfaction for what she is not.

Since I started praising instead of punishing I've lost four pounds, I've discovered countless things I love about myself, and I have an outlook now that is leading me toward a much healthier relationship with food, movement, and the scale.

I hope you all had a great two weeks too. Let's keep the LOVE FEST going!!

♥ K.

All Those Tiny Insignificant Joyful Things...

Joy wins when coffee brews...

....when children smile...


...when people from all over the world are clicking and typing and connecting...

...when I see the light inside every single one...

...when I make tissue paper flowers for Mom...

....in the tiniest, seemingly insignificant things, like a sweet shampoo, or a bit of chocolate, or a poster advertising a local band of misfits, or the colors in my favorite kitchen rug, or the whiskers on my very camera shy dog.

I see these things.

Crumbs leading the way out of the forest and into a field of daisies.

On my way to the gingerbread house,

♥ K.

Scents Connect

Of the five physical senses,

the sense of smell evokes time, place, and person

faster and more effectively than any other.

Why not consciously surround yourself with uplifting aromas, delicious time traveling scents, and wafts of giggle inducing whimsy?



I see an Acupuncturist named Emily, and she's a master at what she does. I went to her as an almost last ditch effort last October to treat my depression and I've been seeing her ever since with great results.

She practises her craft out of an old house perched along one of Duluth's many ascending, pothole-filled avenues. It's one of those homes with tons of history and character. Just ask it.

There is a small bathroom near the room where she meets clients, and in it is Soothing Orange Blossom Honey soap from The South of France. (Actually it's from Greensboro, NC)

Emily's hands carry this sweet and soothing scent when she works on me. I have connected it to feeling safe and cared for, and just yesterday I found it on the shelf of my local whole foods co-op and brought it home. I'm assembling an entourage of support with inanimate objects. Alongside the amazing, loving people in my life.

It also looks beautiful on my window sill.

There are other scents in my life that take me back to times of sadness. English Leather cologne is one of them. I torture myself if I seek out that aroma.

Instant tears.

Why do this to myself?

 If you,

  like me,

work to bring more happiness into your life,

then make decisions that support that aim,

not sabotage it.

Everywhere in small ways we can grab slivers of joy from the simplest places. Like soap.

Off to wash my hands,

♥ K.

Totem Hunt on the Lake Walk

Do you have a favorite place to go?
                                                                                                          
A path through the trees?

A coffee shop on the corner?

A chair on your Grandma's porch?

I am lucky enough to live near one of the world's most magnificent lakes.



Lake Superior

And a thought occurred to me. What if I took an open afternoon to drive down to the lake, walk my dog, and choose a stone, bit of driftwood, or fallen leaf to bring back home as a remembrance? Then whenever I wanted to connect with the joy of that place all I had to do was look at my found treasure.

Simple really.

Here's the problem:
     In my pocket I wanted to place the laughing child, the boulders wet with newly melted snow, the panting runners, the hundred year old former brewery turned hotel along the shore, the sparkling water,  the embracing lovers, the elderly man flirting with his wife, the toddler in rain boots stomping in the puddles, the last bit of floating ice twenty yards from the beach.

I searched for a pebble that could encompass all these things.
Couldn't find it.

I did find a curled up bit of birch bark, but there are no birch trees near where I was, so I have no idea how it got there.
Mystery.

I am not giving up on the idea of a totem hunt, and neither should you. Small gifts to jar our memories open up a world of happiness just by resting quietly in our hands.

Happy meandering,
♥ K.

Be the Person You Want to Be...

About 15 years ago I discovered motivational self-help books.

I covered my bathroom wall in affirmations, positive intention-filled flow charts, dream wheels, self esteem boosting mantras.

         

After much analyzing, brainstorming, and fussing over the perfect phrase to launch my life in a successful direction once and for all, a thought came to me:

I am here to inspire the world to see wonder, magic, and joy in all things.

This was my purpose plain and simple. This was my reason for being.

Fifteen years later I have a new phrase at the helm. This one came to me out of a need to stop wishing for a distant life and claim the one in my lap.

Here it is:

Be the girl you want to be
all the time
with no regrets.

Just this past weekend I was at my daughter's volleyball tournament. She's been playing for years, and I have witnessed, and been party to, gossip and back stabbing, negativity and ugliness. I've also cheered with the best of them, laughed and cried and celebrated.

With my new mission statement in mind, I approached this day with the attitude I wanted to have. All the time. With no regrets.

I had a great day!

I feel good about the conversations I had. I am intensely proud of my girl and how hard she plays. I am inspired by the leader she has become, and by her nonstop positive attitude.

I can do this.

And the best part is...being who I want to be all the time with no regrets is a direct bee line to JOY.

Falsehood and regrets lead to pain, disconnect, and loss.

I'll take JOY!!

Has a personal mission statement or mantra changed your life? I'd love to hear.

Blessings and brightness to all,
♥ K.



The Wisdom of TUT

For some time now I have been receiving emails from a brilliant website.

The man at the helm is Mike Dooley. He's written books, gone on international speaking tours, and manifested the life of his wildest dreams.

One of the free gifts from his site is found here http://www.tut.com/resources/notes/

Please check it out. You can easily sign up and get these "notes from the universe" in your inbox. They're so GREAT!!

The one I want to share with you is this:

 

There is perhaps no more empowering belief, Kimberly , than understanding you're always in control of how you feel.

Similarly, understanding that just because you're not always skipping through tulips with joy doesn't mean that something's wrong with you.

You rock,
    The Universe



I've read and reread this and every time I smile. There is nothing wrong with me if I feel sad, or discouraged, or mopey, or reluctant to skip through tulips. And since I'm in control of how I feel, the ability to change it up if I want to is completely up do ME!

Love it.

Check out TUT. The universe loves you in many wild and wondrous ways.
♥ K.

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Giggles

My sister Lisa and brother Dane and I all wanted to sit on Grandma's lap at the same time. This was a game we loved to play. I think my Mom took this picture. I was about four years old. It sits next to my computer and I see it every day. I see my Grandma's laughing smile, my brother struggling to hold on, and pure joy on my own face.

I can remember that joy.

I can look at this picture, even on dark days, and know that in that moment EVERYTHING was perfect and free and surrounded with love.

Find a picture of yourself as a child when everything fell into place, when you were perfectly happy. Really look into your own eyes and know, that that moment can be ANY moment. The joy you felt then still exists in you today, even if only in a memory. Call it back. Feel it again.

My Grandma's love is that big. I'll bet you've got someone or something in your past who can travel through time and give you a jolt of joy.

Give it a try.

Saa Da,
♥ K.

Compare and Contrast

  

Our family has a small cabin deep in the woods in northern Minnesota. We spent the weekend there, just the four of us, to take our snowmobiles out across the lakes and down the trails.

It was a balmy 32 degrees with bright sun and gentle breezes.

A wonderful time with my family.

Our cabin is 16x32, powered by solar and propane, with no running water, four rooms, and an outhouse.

It’s comfortable for us, and we’re used to the rustic nature of the place.

What always gets me is what I notice when I come home. We live on a small hobby farm in northern Wisconsin. Our house is of unknown age and sits alongside a big red barn on 20 acres. We have a few chickens, and a goat.

I have one bathroom, no family room with a giant T.V., no master bedroom with walk-in closets, no new and impressive furniture. The house is old, with tilting floors in surprising places, drafty windows, and a spider filled basement that used to be a root cellar.

I confess I have spent a lot of time wishing I lived somewhere else; in a larger, newer, prettier house.

Yet I come home today from our humble cabin, and I walk from room to room on carpeted floors. I get a glass of water from the faucet in the kitchen. I use the bathroom. Sunlight streams across the fields through old rippled panes. I am so grateful to have this home. I am blessed by the luxury of it all.

If I don’t see JOY, it means I’m looking in the wrong place. Within my own life JOY wins when I see the abundance that is uniquely mine. That is key. It’s easy to look outside ourselves and see the good stuff we want that other people have. It’s a different thing to look at OUR OWN LIVES and see the great stuff that is already at the door!

Where in your life can you find something that beams JOY in a way that speaks to you?

What already exists in your life that sings abundance?

Make it personal.

That’s where it counts.

The "green grass" is growing in your own back yard, you just have to appreciate the shade.

                   Love to all,

                                                                                                    ♥ K.

The Road to Sufficient Excellence

I decided to chart my energy level and mood from highest joy-filled bliss to depths of despair and depression.

I wanted to see where I was when I started to slip.

See if I could catch myself before falling too far. Reroute my thinking. Rewrite my thoughts.

Here's how it went:

I am the purist energy of all the universe. I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this moment. Present moment perfection.

I am blissfully happy, at peace with the world. All is well.

Life floats effortlessly from one blink to the next. I am alive, vibrant me! I have always been one-of-a-kind.

I accept all that is around me. I am whimsy. I am calm. I am beautiful and capable.

I am able to see my path and follow it with confidence.

I set goals and attain them one at a time. Moving forward.

I wipe my tears and stand tall. I can do this.

I find strength and direction to complete small tasks.

It is at this point that I can allow myself no further descent without intervening. Here is where I get out a notebook and pen, or grab chalk and stand before my kitchen board. I write a list of tasks that need doing, and I do them. The movement unsticks me. It shows me that I can accomplish things. Simple tasks. It keeps me hovering above what follows if I ignore my decline.

I sit...unmoving. Fear grips me.

Swirling thoughts. Mindless eating. Things will never change.

Accept it. Feel the pull. This is who you are.

My way is foggy and obscure. I have myself to blame.

I am not important.

I never do anything right.

I'm a failure. I'm not that smart.

I'll never amount to anything.

Life is pointless. Darkest despair. I am worthless.

So I don't want to depress you with this list!!! If you're feeling low after reading to the end, go back to the beginning and read the good stuff. We ALL have the ability to strap on some imaginary hover shoes and float to higher ground.

All the time.

We can shift our focus through a deep breath, a gentle rolling of the shoulders, and an easy mantra:

"I am sufficiently excellent at being me."

Many blessings and much love,
♥ K.

Perfect Imperfection

After I mowed the lawn the other day I noticed that I'd missed a spot. This little strip of clover had been spared. This one flower defiantly rising above the rest.

It got me thinking.

I am surrounded by imperfection. We all are. Yet we stress and obsess over making things right, getting all the details right. How do we know when we've achieved our goals? How do we know when everything is perfect enough? Is it ever??? We're chasing a moving target. A perfectly elusive target.

My son is reading a science book about quantum physics. He's 14, and it's summer vacation. I'm a very proud Mom. He was reading to me about how in quantum theory a single atom's actions can dictate the unfolding events of our lives. Every day we are bombarded by a billion trillion atoms and their whims. Our lives hum along to the rhythm of these minute and invisible forces. Perfectly. We see it as imperfection. We see the "missed spot". We see the dust, the stack of bills, the kitchen sink, the bad hair day. And we judge it and ourselves as not up to par.

Enough of this.

This week, I am challenging you to see perfections. Here's how.

Retreat Time:

Throughout your day, whenever your eyes fall to something that awakens the critical voice, let it say, "Imperfection." Breathe it in.

Then change it to "I'm perfection." Because you are.

And whether you're speaking for yourself or the dust, or the sink, or the standing clover, it is just as true.

The simple reframing of a phrase can change everything. It can move us from the weight of negativity to joyful surprise. From judgement to open hearted wonder.

Join me?
Kimberly

Party Punch for One

Depression is an oppressive state of being. 

It tends to sap the life out of everyone it touches, and I am no stranger to this phenomenon. These last few months have made posting here very difficult. I've missed you all.

Retreat With Me is a prescription to combat days that are less than sunny, less than energy filled, less than what I hope for. While posting and participating in these retreats, I have found moments of light in darkness even on my most sluggish days. So I soldier on.

For you, and for me.

I first discovered this next retreat on a day I could barely function. I sat in my favorite apple green chair and decided to pull myself back to life with something special.

This is what I did.

Retreat Time:

Fill a glass with ice.
Fill it halfway with orange juice.
Fill it the rest of the way with fizzy pop (yes I say pop, I'm from the Midwest).
I used Diet Sierra Mist. It's really good, and not too sweet.
Insert a straw, and enjoy.

Why is this so good?

Because the Vitamin C is good for your immune system, the liquid is good for overall hydration, the sweetness is good for the soul, and the straw is just for fun.

As I sipped this simple drink, I felt cared for and loved. I imagined golden sunshine in my tummy to replace the swirls of dark anxiety. Something about taking those few moments to serve myself a simple cold treat made me feel lighter, brighter, and loved.

So good.
Kimberly

Saying Thank You...~Day Four~

Thank you sun, for shining.

Thank you sky, for being blue.

Thank you birds, for singing.

Thank you friends, for being you.


Usually I try to be eloquent, polished, sophisticated.

At least in my mind.

Today I want to be childish and free.

The obvious things like sunshine and sky are often the best things in life. And this little poem, although reminiscent of an elementary school English assignment, makes the point.

Be young and open today in your wide-eyed wonder, and say "thank you" with a singing heart.

Out picking dandelions,
Kimberly

Saying Thank You...~Day One~

Dear Wade,

Thank you for bringing me breakfast in bed today. For holding me, and loving me. I have the best husband in the world.

Love,
Kim


Dear Jan,

Thank you for your email message and loving advice. Reading your words was like looking into a warm light shining in darkness. You are such a giving person to reach out to me--someone you don't even know.

Many blessings to you,
Kim

Week Something~ I've Missed You~

I was at my cousin's wedding reception last weekend. The room was filled with people I hadn't seen in many years, and along with the blissfully happy bride, was her sister's husband Paul.

We used to see Paul, Laura, and their beautiful children once or twice a year, but it's amazing how before you know it, four have ticked by.

That's just too long.

And Paul asked me about this blog..."What happened? You haven't posted in awhile."

There are lots of reasons for this, and I suppose over time I will share them with you, but for now, Paul's kind words have gotten me typing again.

No excuses. I'm back with another retreat.

I am reframing what retreat means to me. I am moving forward with my life, not pulling back, not surrendering. I am actively choosing to pause, not out of fear, or procrastination, but for the celebrations that come in every small moment.
Slow down enough and you'll see them.

Retreat Time:

Is there something, or someone, you've always wanted to be?

An Astronaut
The President
A Singer
A Humanitarian
A Professor

A Writer

Why not let yourself "be" that person for a day. Maybe even a moment. Our imaginations are time machines, and our thoughts can take us wherever we want to go. It's not about running away from the lives we have by immersing ourselves in a dream world. It's about pulling that world desired into our present here and now.

Why not?

Explore.    Lead.    Give voice.    Help.    Learn.    Write.

So good to be back,
K.

Week Eighteen ~What's in a Word~

I've been thinking a lot lately, and I'm reconsidering the name Retreat With Me.

Originally I saw this blog as a place to offer up ideas for little mini get-aways, anytime, anywhere. Suggestions for moments that would refuel the soul, calm the mind, and warm the heart. I have had a lot of fun sharing with you my many ideas, my retreats.

There's that word again--retreat.

As life goes on, I see retreat not as a sanctuary, or a time of reflection and repose, but as a falling back in defeat. If I am forever retreating, how do I grow my life? How do I embrace the magic, the wonder, the joy, if I am drawing myself away?

Hmmmmm.

I need a new name for this blog. One that fuels me, one that glows with promise and pride. I claim my life for the thrill of living it! I will not fall back. I will not retreat. I will celebrate, embrace, and see wonder, magic and joy in all things.

What's in a word?

Rejoice.

Rejoice with Me.

Charge!!
Kimberly

Week Seventeen ~Love for Japan~

I have learned a lesson.

Taking time to care for myself is hard.

Life was difficult this past week, and my time here suffered. So today before I offer a new idea for retreat, let me share my painting with you. It actually inspired this week's intention.

When I started painting, I just did what came to me. I didn't think about it. I was busy with the squishy feel of the paint, and the buckling wetness of the paper. As this picture evolved, I "saw" what it was trying to tell me.

It's a heart kiss for Japan.

I don't need to remind all of you of the horrors the Japanese people have recently suffered, or the continuing agony the ones who survived the earthquake and tsunami are facing. It's unspeakable, and when I see images from their country I freeze up with sadness. How can I, or anyone, help them?

So for this week's retreat, I encourage you to find quiet time each day to pray for the people of Japan. Find moments to sit quietly in meditation. Hold their nation in your heart, and send them your loving kindness.

To start things off, consider this:

Prayer for Japan

By passionistcharism

Merciful God, you never depart from us even in the worst of times; be with us in both our joy and in our sadness. Grant your aid and encouragement to those who suffer in the face of this great calamity. We, too, continue to offer you our prayers and sacrifices for their sake. Bring us with all possible haste to the day when all can live in safety. May all those who have lost their lives in the devastation find peaceful repose in your presence. Mother Mary, pray for us. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.  [Composed by the Japanese Bishops Conference]

[Father Paul Matsumoto, C.P., Vice Provincial Superior of the Passionists in Japan]

May we all keep Japan and her people close to our hearts. Sending blessings every day.

Gratefully offered,
Kimberly