Crazy Praise--Part One



I have hit bottom countless times when it comes to my weight, body image, ability to fit in jeans that are frustratingly two sizes too small.

The nerve of denim.

Yet another descent occured at work the other day. I work in a beautiful boutique with lots of pretty things, and guilded mirrors.

Somehow every time I turned around there was a reflection screaming...

"Have you seen the size of your #*!@X lately?  What the &*(#@!!"

No lie.

I went home pouting. Something had to change.

AGAIN

I pulled out my journal and starting writing without stopping, until I had come up with something new and awesome and mind blowing to bust me through the funk and decidely NOT JOYFUL images from the day.

Here's what I came up with:

Crazy Praise

Spend five minutes each day speaking the truth about how wonderful and amazing your body is. This is out loud people. Everything said must be a rave, and I know you can come up with five minutes of compliments. Your body has housed you, and moved you through your own unique life, and she deserves some credit.

This post is Part One, because I have been attending my own Crazy Praise sessions for three days, and I'm going to check back in after two weeks. Join me if you'd like. I'd love to know if this helps other people too.

In three days I'm already feeling better, about so many things. I'm worth spending time on. I joined Weight Watchers with friends, I'm running again, and the next time I see myself in a mirror, I'm going to say...

"Damn girl, you look good!"

                                                                                              

This is going to work,

♥K.

Connection

     When I am down, ever present is the yearning to reach out, connect, feel a respite from loneliness and isolation.

 

     Depression is a selfish disease. It demands I give all of myself to its dark gloom.

     At its worst, the weight of it makes breathing a chore.

     I don't write much about depression here, because...

 THAT WHICH WE FOCUS ON GROWS

 and I choose JOY.

     But every once in awhile, it's necessary to name the unwanted guest beneath my feet. JOY is a guest who always has a place at my table.

     JOY shows up in a million places and can pierce the densest woe. Always connection sows JOY as depression feeds on loneliness.

Today's dose of JOY:
A friend I haven't seen in years came to the store where I work today. We hugged, started chatting, and it was as if not a day had past. Bless you Cherrie for stopping by. Then as we're talking, Cherrie gave me a gift. She told me how much she enjoys my blog. She told me to keep writing, that it helps her. My friend Anne from South Africa told me the same thing last year, and it's the reason I got back to blogging after quitting. It's why I renamed this blog and have kept at it ever since.

What a priceless gift is a friend's praise!!!

Thank you both for showing me that I AM connecting, I AM NOT alone, and I AM helping people. It is what I most want to do.

Connect

It is the key to everything.

Face to face is best. But what if no one's around?

Too far down to leave the house?

No energy for a phone call?

Write a letter.

Talk to any friend, past or present, as if they are right there with you. You WILL feel better.

I caution you to avoid scrolling mindlessly through facebook. I've discovered that unless I am following a specific conversation, or perusing local events, the site only magnifies isolation.

Pen and paper are better.



There is one more option...

You can write to me!
Drop me a line in comments below. I couldn't be more honored to take your hand.

JOY through connection is just a click away.

♥K.

Spring has returned.  The Earth is like a child that knows poems. 

 ~Rainer Maria Rilke

I am bitten by the garden bug. All seems possible today. That old concrete trough filled with dirt and weeds holds the promise of a burst of sunflowers and dalias. This will be the year!!

And who cares if the past has shown that once summer comes, and the heat bares down, and the flies, and the moskitoes, and bugs come out.

And I'm sweating and dirty, and the weeds are winning the war, and the trough goes back to grass, because my goat has gotten out again and eaten all the baby sunflower shoots.

Who cares.

I have today, this glorious spring day.

And I have the joy of hope, and a snicker of knowing that my vision probably won't happen.

For now, I'm convincing myself that THIS WILL BE THE YEAR!

Makes me smile.

Go get dirty,

♥K.

Totem Hunt on the Lake Walk

Do you have a favorite place to go?
                                                                                                          
A path through the trees?

A coffee shop on the corner?

A chair on your Grandma's porch?

I am lucky enough to live near one of the world's most magnificent lakes.



Lake Superior

And a thought occurred to me. What if I took an open afternoon to drive down to the lake, walk my dog, and choose a stone, bit of driftwood, or fallen leaf to bring back home as a remembrance? Then whenever I wanted to connect with the joy of that place all I had to do was look at my found treasure.

Simple really.

Here's the problem:
     In my pocket I wanted to place the laughing child, the boulders wet with newly melted snow, the panting runners, the hundred year old former brewery turned hotel along the shore, the sparkling water,  the embracing lovers, the elderly man flirting with his wife, the toddler in rain boots stomping in the puddles, the last bit of floating ice twenty yards from the beach.

I searched for a pebble that could encompass all these things.
Couldn't find it.

I did find a curled up bit of birch bark, but there are no birch trees near where I was, so I have no idea how it got there.
Mystery.

I am not giving up on the idea of a totem hunt, and neither should you. Small gifts to jar our memories open up a world of happiness just by resting quietly in our hands.

Happy meandering,
♥ K.

Be the Person You Want to Be...

About 15 years ago I discovered motivational self-help books.

I covered my bathroom wall in affirmations, positive intention-filled flow charts, dream wheels, self esteem boosting mantras.

         

After much analyzing, brainstorming, and fussing over the perfect phrase to launch my life in a successful direction once and for all, a thought came to me:

I am here to inspire the world to see wonder, magic, and joy in all things.

This was my purpose plain and simple. This was my reason for being.

Fifteen years later I have a new phrase at the helm. This one came to me out of a need to stop wishing for a distant life and claim the one in my lap.

Here it is:

Be the girl you want to be
all the time
with no regrets.

Just this past weekend I was at my daughter's volleyball tournament. She's been playing for years, and I have witnessed, and been party to, gossip and back stabbing, negativity and ugliness. I've also cheered with the best of them, laughed and cried and celebrated.

With my new mission statement in mind, I approached this day with the attitude I wanted to have. All the time. With no regrets.

I had a great day!

I feel good about the conversations I had. I am intensely proud of my girl and how hard she plays. I am inspired by the leader she has become, and by her nonstop positive attitude.

I can do this.

And the best part is...being who I want to be all the time with no regrets is a direct bee line to JOY.

Falsehood and regrets lead to pain, disconnect, and loss.

I'll take JOY!!

Has a personal mission statement or mantra changed your life? I'd love to hear.

Blessings and brightness to all,
♥ K.