HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Today is my birthday.

I've been out to eat at my favorite restaurant (last night to kick things off),

I've had many hugs and "I love yous" from my two wonderful children,

I've had flirty attention from my fabulous husband,

Greetings from my Mom,

A phone call from my sister,

A perfectly relaxing and enlightening session with my acupuncturist,

Time in my favorite coffee shop next to a cute college boy (Hey, I'm not too old for that!)

and

 32 happy birthdays from my face book friends and counting.

Whoever reads this--HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Wherever you are, whenever you were born I wish you

JOY!!

Always.

XO

♥~K.

A New Perspective



My friend Sarah is celebrating one year of Follow Your Feel Good, and she asked her face book friends today what their favorite place in nature was and why. There will be a drawing on Friday, and three lucky picks will win a copy of her book, What the Walrus Knows: An Eccentric's Field Guide to Working With Beastie Energies.

I encourage you all to check out Sarah's work, as she is a genius at finding the "feel good" in life, and helping others tap it's power. She can also have you talking to elephants before you know it, but that's another story. I've learned so much from her.

Today's post was inspired by my answer to Sarah's question.

I loved playing in puddles as a kid. I loved rerouting the minuscule streams in my driveway after a rain. I could get absolutely lost in tiny swirls of sand, a trickle's force as it plunges over a pine needle dam. Crouched and bent I entered a mysterious world.

So today, although we've had no recent rain, I took my camera to the driveway, and shot a few pictures from the wee perspective of my driveway's miniature riverbed. The view I got was a little tilted, a little out of focus, a little eschew, a little "Alice in Wonderland", and it's out my door on an ordinary day, waiting to be discovered.

We think nothing ever changes.

We think life plods along and if we're stuck in a fog, we have to accept it, when in reality...

...we're a tilt away from a new view. The smallest movement can open a door to a new definition.

JOY: everywhere we look, every thing we hear, every sensation beneath our feet, if only we will see.

♥ K.

Giving Gives

From Mom



For my Mom's 70th birthday, my sister, brother and I threw her a party. We made yummy food, hid my brother and his girls (who came from out-of-town) to surprise her, and gave her as a gift a Mother's ring.

A ruby for Lisa, an emerald for me, and a citrine for Dane.

My Mom's reaction??

JOY, JOY, JOY!!

Who could have known what this would all mean to her? Mom sent each of us thank you notes, but what I will never forget is what she said that day...

"This has been one of the greatest days of my life."

It has long been known that showering others with our gifts and talents is a tried and true path to happiness. It's easy to get so caught up in the giving that troubles are forgotten, and the love in life, the beauty in each of us that is always there, glows with a lifting energy that sustains us as human beings. If we look closely we will see we are in a magic place when time stops, and all that matters is the teary smile on our Mother's face. Her heart full to bursting.

One of the greatest days of my life.

May you find a way today to give, because it heals, because it fulfills, because it brings joy,

♥ K.

Last Place

I write today as one who struggles.

I got dressed, I'm drinking my anti-depression tea, I worked out in my garden for two hours, I pet my dog, talked to a friend, ate breakfast...

...and all I want to do is pull the covers over my head.

I can't lie to all of you today and tell you how things will be fine if you just do this, or just read that. This is REAL and it SUCKS, and I want to be honest.

I guess I'm reaching out to you.

To any of you who may have a word of encouragement for me.

It's all my fogged out darkened brain can come up with I'm afraid.

I promise my next entry will be a positive one, where JOY is in the lead, winning the race. Right now, she's having trouble finding her running shoes.

Breathe in, breathe out.

♥ K.

Crazy Praise--Part Two

Two weeks ago (plus a few days) I posted Crazy Praise--Part One.

In it, I offered up a challenge to anyone willing to join me for five minutes a day of out loud praise for our fingers, toes, ears, nose, and on down to the arms, tummies, hips and thighs.

It has been an enlightening two weeks for me.

What began as an experiment in kindness became a LOVE FEST.

This might sound nuts, but I realized that the extra weight I may carry on my hips and thighs is just my body's way of doing its job. She's taking care of me by storing up for the lean times. That's how I'm built.

How can I continue to hate on myself for doing what I was built to do?

I can lovingly work to lighten the load by taking in more fresh air than brownies, going on more walks than pizza runs, and spending more time in gratitude for all my body is than in dissatisfaction for what she is not.

Since I started praising instead of punishing I've lost four pounds, I've discovered countless things I love about myself, and I have an outlook now that is leading me toward a much healthier relationship with food, movement, and the scale.

I hope you all had a great two weeks too. Let's keep the LOVE FEST going!!

♥ K.

All Those Tiny Insignificant Joyful Things...

Joy wins when coffee brews...

....when children smile...


...when people from all over the world are clicking and typing and connecting...

...when I see the light inside every single one...

...when I make tissue paper flowers for Mom...

....in the tiniest, seemingly insignificant things, like a sweet shampoo, or a bit of chocolate, or a poster advertising a local band of misfits, or the colors in my favorite kitchen rug, or the whiskers on my very camera shy dog.

I see these things.

Crumbs leading the way out of the forest and into a field of daisies.

On my way to the gingerbread house,

♥ K.

Scents Connect

Of the five physical senses,

the sense of smell evokes time, place, and person

faster and more effectively than any other.

Why not consciously surround yourself with uplifting aromas, delicious time traveling scents, and wafts of giggle inducing whimsy?



I see an Acupuncturist named Emily, and she's a master at what she does. I went to her as an almost last ditch effort last October to treat my depression and I've been seeing her ever since with great results.

She practises her craft out of an old house perched along one of Duluth's many ascending, pothole-filled avenues. It's one of those homes with tons of history and character. Just ask it.

There is a small bathroom near the room where she meets clients, and in it is Soothing Orange Blossom Honey soap from The South of France. (Actually it's from Greensboro, NC)

Emily's hands carry this sweet and soothing scent when she works on me. I have connected it to feeling safe and cared for, and just yesterday I found it on the shelf of my local whole foods co-op and brought it home. I'm assembling an entourage of support with inanimate objects. Alongside the amazing, loving people in my life.

It also looks beautiful on my window sill.

There are other scents in my life that take me back to times of sadness. English Leather cologne is one of them. I torture myself if I seek out that aroma.

Instant tears.

Why do this to myself?

 If you,

  like me,

work to bring more happiness into your life,

then make decisions that support that aim,

not sabotage it.

Everywhere in small ways we can grab slivers of joy from the simplest places. Like soap.

Off to wash my hands,

♥ K.

Crazy Praise--Part One



I have hit bottom countless times when it comes to my weight, body image, ability to fit in jeans that are frustratingly two sizes too small.

The nerve of denim.

Yet another descent occured at work the other day. I work in a beautiful boutique with lots of pretty things, and guilded mirrors.

Somehow every time I turned around there was a reflection screaming...

"Have you seen the size of your #*!@X lately?  What the &*(#@!!"

No lie.

I went home pouting. Something had to change.

AGAIN

I pulled out my journal and starting writing without stopping, until I had come up with something new and awesome and mind blowing to bust me through the funk and decidely NOT JOYFUL images from the day.

Here's what I came up with:

Crazy Praise

Spend five minutes each day speaking the truth about how wonderful and amazing your body is. This is out loud people. Everything said must be a rave, and I know you can come up with five minutes of compliments. Your body has housed you, and moved you through your own unique life, and she deserves some credit.

This post is Part One, because I have been attending my own Crazy Praise sessions for three days, and I'm going to check back in after two weeks. Join me if you'd like. I'd love to know if this helps other people too.

In three days I'm already feeling better, about so many things. I'm worth spending time on. I joined Weight Watchers with friends, I'm running again, and the next time I see myself in a mirror, I'm going to say...

"Damn girl, you look good!"

                                                                                              

This is going to work,

♥K.

Connection

     When I am down, ever present is the yearning to reach out, connect, feel a respite from loneliness and isolation.

 

     Depression is a selfish disease. It demands I give all of myself to its dark gloom.

     At its worst, the weight of it makes breathing a chore.

     I don't write much about depression here, because...

 THAT WHICH WE FOCUS ON GROWS

 and I choose JOY.

     But every once in awhile, it's necessary to name the unwanted guest beneath my feet. JOY is a guest who always has a place at my table.

     JOY shows up in a million places and can pierce the densest woe. Always connection sows JOY as depression feeds on loneliness.

Today's dose of JOY:
A friend I haven't seen in years came to the store where I work today. We hugged, started chatting, and it was as if not a day had past. Bless you Cherrie for stopping by. Then as we're talking, Cherrie gave me a gift. She told me how much she enjoys my blog. She told me to keep writing, that it helps her. My friend Anne from South Africa told me the same thing last year, and it's the reason I got back to blogging after quitting. It's why I renamed this blog and have kept at it ever since.

What a priceless gift is a friend's praise!!!

Thank you both for showing me that I AM connecting, I AM NOT alone, and I AM helping people. It is what I most want to do.

Connect

It is the key to everything.

Face to face is best. But what if no one's around?

Too far down to leave the house?

No energy for a phone call?

Write a letter.

Talk to any friend, past or present, as if they are right there with you. You WILL feel better.

I caution you to avoid scrolling mindlessly through facebook. I've discovered that unless I am following a specific conversation, or perusing local events, the site only magnifies isolation.

Pen and paper are better.



There is one more option...

You can write to me!
Drop me a line in comments below. I couldn't be more honored to take your hand.

JOY through connection is just a click away.

♥K.

Spring has returned.  The Earth is like a child that knows poems. 

 ~Rainer Maria Rilke

I am bitten by the garden bug. All seems possible today. That old concrete trough filled with dirt and weeds holds the promise of a burst of sunflowers and dalias. This will be the year!!

And who cares if the past has shown that once summer comes, and the heat bares down, and the flies, and the moskitoes, and bugs come out.

And I'm sweating and dirty, and the weeds are winning the war, and the trough goes back to grass, because my goat has gotten out again and eaten all the baby sunflower shoots.

Who cares.

I have today, this glorious spring day.

And I have the joy of hope, and a snicker of knowing that my vision probably won't happen.

For now, I'm convincing myself that THIS WILL BE THE YEAR!

Makes me smile.

Go get dirty,

♥K.

Totem Hunt on the Lake Walk

Do you have a favorite place to go?
                                                                                                          
A path through the trees?

A coffee shop on the corner?

A chair on your Grandma's porch?

I am lucky enough to live near one of the world's most magnificent lakes.



Lake Superior

And a thought occurred to me. What if I took an open afternoon to drive down to the lake, walk my dog, and choose a stone, bit of driftwood, or fallen leaf to bring back home as a remembrance? Then whenever I wanted to connect with the joy of that place all I had to do was look at my found treasure.

Simple really.

Here's the problem:
     In my pocket I wanted to place the laughing child, the boulders wet with newly melted snow, the panting runners, the hundred year old former brewery turned hotel along the shore, the sparkling water,  the embracing lovers, the elderly man flirting with his wife, the toddler in rain boots stomping in the puddles, the last bit of floating ice twenty yards from the beach.

I searched for a pebble that could encompass all these things.
Couldn't find it.

I did find a curled up bit of birch bark, but there are no birch trees near where I was, so I have no idea how it got there.
Mystery.

I am not giving up on the idea of a totem hunt, and neither should you. Small gifts to jar our memories open up a world of happiness just by resting quietly in our hands.

Happy meandering,
♥ K.

Be the Person You Want to Be...

About 15 years ago I discovered motivational self-help books.

I covered my bathroom wall in affirmations, positive intention-filled flow charts, dream wheels, self esteem boosting mantras.

         

After much analyzing, brainstorming, and fussing over the perfect phrase to launch my life in a successful direction once and for all, a thought came to me:

I am here to inspire the world to see wonder, magic, and joy in all things.

This was my purpose plain and simple. This was my reason for being.

Fifteen years later I have a new phrase at the helm. This one came to me out of a need to stop wishing for a distant life and claim the one in my lap.

Here it is:

Be the girl you want to be
all the time
with no regrets.

Just this past weekend I was at my daughter's volleyball tournament. She's been playing for years, and I have witnessed, and been party to, gossip and back stabbing, negativity and ugliness. I've also cheered with the best of them, laughed and cried and celebrated.

With my new mission statement in mind, I approached this day with the attitude I wanted to have. All the time. With no regrets.

I had a great day!

I feel good about the conversations I had. I am intensely proud of my girl and how hard she plays. I am inspired by the leader she has become, and by her nonstop positive attitude.

I can do this.

And the best part is...being who I want to be all the time with no regrets is a direct bee line to JOY.

Falsehood and regrets lead to pain, disconnect, and loss.

I'll take JOY!!

Has a personal mission statement or mantra changed your life? I'd love to hear.

Blessings and brightness to all,
♥ K.



Slow Snowy Day

Here in northern Wisconsin we have had a mere dusting of snow all winter long.

Today, we had a blizzard come through which shut everything down. All schools closed. Most businesses too. Everyone just stayed home.

I made a pot roast.

It simmered on the stove for hours.

My daughter layed on the couch and read.

My son went on a snowmobile ride with his Dad.

They met friends, had burgers, and even got on T.V.! The news wanted scenes of resilient northerners at play.

Lesson of Joy for Today

Savor the "Snow Days" in life. Little impromptu gems. Gifts of time when we least expect them. Slowing down, with no particular place to go, no one to impress, nothing to prove, can feel positively blissful.

Ahhhhhhh.

♥ K.

The Wisdom of TUT

For some time now I have been receiving emails from a brilliant website.

The man at the helm is Mike Dooley. He's written books, gone on international speaking tours, and manifested the life of his wildest dreams.

One of the free gifts from his site is found here http://www.tut.com/resources/notes/

Please check it out. You can easily sign up and get these "notes from the universe" in your inbox. They're so GREAT!!

The one I want to share with you is this:

 

There is perhaps no more empowering belief, Kimberly , than understanding you're always in control of how you feel.

Similarly, understanding that just because you're not always skipping through tulips with joy doesn't mean that something's wrong with you.

You rock,
    The Universe



I've read and reread this and every time I smile. There is nothing wrong with me if I feel sad, or discouraged, or mopey, or reluctant to skip through tulips. And since I'm in control of how I feel, the ability to change it up if I want to is completely up do ME!

Love it.

Check out TUT. The universe loves you in many wild and wondrous ways.
♥ K.

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Giggles

My sister Lisa and brother Dane and I all wanted to sit on Grandma's lap at the same time. This was a game we loved to play. I think my Mom took this picture. I was about four years old. It sits next to my computer and I see it every day. I see my Grandma's laughing smile, my brother struggling to hold on, and pure joy on my own face.

I can remember that joy.

I can look at this picture, even on dark days, and know that in that moment EVERYTHING was perfect and free and surrounded with love.

Find a picture of yourself as a child when everything fell into place, when you were perfectly happy. Really look into your own eyes and know, that that moment can be ANY moment. The joy you felt then still exists in you today, even if only in a memory. Call it back. Feel it again.

My Grandma's love is that big. I'll bet you've got someone or something in your past who can travel through time and give you a jolt of joy.

Give it a try.

Saa Da,
♥ K.

Monday Motivation

"Hey Kim!"

"This is your motivated I'd-rather-have-a-good-day-than-shuffle-around-in-a-ratty-bathrobe-self talking.

Get dressed.

Make a plan for the next hour. (Write. Post a blog entry. Sew. Brainstorm. Create. Eat something healthy.)

And for crying out loud fix your hair and put on a face."

(I don't know about you, but my age is just a number to me. I'm forty-four. Still, some days I look in the mirror and say YIKES!)

I listened to my motivated somewhat bossy self and...



...piled my hair into a high, young, and hip ponytail, put on a one-of-a-kind Pinterest inspired scarf I made, munched on a lemon Luna bar, and here I sit.

                                                      When does Joy Win!?

When you love on yourself people.

    YOU are your own best company, and most constant advocate.

TAKE CARE.

MAKE PEACE.

LOVE YOURSELF.

That's all I've got today.

Peace, blessings, and ponytails,

K. ♥

Compare and Contrast

  

Our family has a small cabin deep in the woods in northern Minnesota. We spent the weekend there, just the four of us, to take our snowmobiles out across the lakes and down the trails.

It was a balmy 32 degrees with bright sun and gentle breezes.

A wonderful time with my family.

Our cabin is 16x32, powered by solar and propane, with no running water, four rooms, and an outhouse.

It’s comfortable for us, and we’re used to the rustic nature of the place.

What always gets me is what I notice when I come home. We live on a small hobby farm in northern Wisconsin. Our house is of unknown age and sits alongside a big red barn on 20 acres. We have a few chickens, and a goat.

I have one bathroom, no family room with a giant T.V., no master bedroom with walk-in closets, no new and impressive furniture. The house is old, with tilting floors in surprising places, drafty windows, and a spider filled basement that used to be a root cellar.

I confess I have spent a lot of time wishing I lived somewhere else; in a larger, newer, prettier house.

Yet I come home today from our humble cabin, and I walk from room to room on carpeted floors. I get a glass of water from the faucet in the kitchen. I use the bathroom. Sunlight streams across the fields through old rippled panes. I am so grateful to have this home. I am blessed by the luxury of it all.

If I don’t see JOY, it means I’m looking in the wrong place. Within my own life JOY wins when I see the abundance that is uniquely mine. That is key. It’s easy to look outside ourselves and see the good stuff we want that other people have. It’s a different thing to look at OUR OWN LIVES and see the great stuff that is already at the door!

Where in your life can you find something that beams JOY in a way that speaks to you?

What already exists in your life that sings abundance?

Make it personal.

That’s where it counts.

The "green grass" is growing in your own back yard, you just have to appreciate the shade.

                   Love to all,

                                                                                                    ♥ K.

Ahhhhhh.....oxygen!

                 Feeling low??

Stand up.

Bend at your waist.

Soften your knees.

Hang your head and your arms and dangle like a rag doll.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

With each breath let your hands droop a little closer to the floor.

Just hang out for awhile.

You're getting blood to your brain.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Zzzzzzzzz.

Now slowly stand up.

One vertebrae at a time.

Until your eyes face forward.

Stretch your arms over your head with one last inhale and exhale and I guarantee...

...YOU WILL FEEL BETTER!!

Bless the beautiful, free, life-giving air,
♥ K.

The List in My Head

Ever listen to the chatter in your head?

For me, there are two distinct voices. One that continually tells me where I'm falling short. (She's a pain in the ass.)
                                                                      

 "You'll never amount to anything...blah, blah, blah."

And one that reminds me gently how far I've come. (She's sweet and kind, sitting in a field of wildfowers and no one listens to her.)

   "You're perfect just the way you are, sitting here doing nothing, just think happy thoughts."

To choose JOY today, I'm kicking the crank to the curb. And I'm letting the beautiful redhead stay in the field with the flowers.

I need a new voice. One that is ALL me. A voice that is strong, complete, honest, and kind. A voice that tells it like it is with love and inner wisdom. A centering, powerful voice that resonates in my gut, my heart, and my mind.

Finding Balance

If you feel pulled by negativity, or aloof and floaty and stuck in unproductive positive thinking, try this:

Hold your hands out with elbows bent at your waist and imagine you are holding the grump in one hand and avoidance in the other.

Now bring your hands together over your heart.

Breathe in and LOVE these parts of yourself. Breathe with your belly. Breathe with your mind. Feel centered and strong.

Dissolve these two voices into one clear voice and note the first word that comes to mind.

This simple directive is your guide.

My word today is BOLD.

Let me know what you discover. I'd love to hear.

Peace to you all,
♥ K.

The Road to Sufficient Excellence

I decided to chart my energy level and mood from highest joy-filled bliss to depths of despair and depression.

I wanted to see where I was when I started to slip.

See if I could catch myself before falling too far. Reroute my thinking. Rewrite my thoughts.

Here's how it went:

I am the purist energy of all the universe. I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this moment. Present moment perfection.

I am blissfully happy, at peace with the world. All is well.

Life floats effortlessly from one blink to the next. I am alive, vibrant me! I have always been one-of-a-kind.

I accept all that is around me. I am whimsy. I am calm. I am beautiful and capable.

I am able to see my path and follow it with confidence.

I set goals and attain them one at a time. Moving forward.

I wipe my tears and stand tall. I can do this.

I find strength and direction to complete small tasks.

It is at this point that I can allow myself no further descent without intervening. Here is where I get out a notebook and pen, or grab chalk and stand before my kitchen board. I write a list of tasks that need doing, and I do them. The movement unsticks me. It shows me that I can accomplish things. Simple tasks. It keeps me hovering above what follows if I ignore my decline.

I sit...unmoving. Fear grips me.

Swirling thoughts. Mindless eating. Things will never change.

Accept it. Feel the pull. This is who you are.

My way is foggy and obscure. I have myself to blame.

I am not important.

I never do anything right.

I'm a failure. I'm not that smart.

I'll never amount to anything.

Life is pointless. Darkest despair. I am worthless.

So I don't want to depress you with this list!!! If you're feeling low after reading to the end, go back to the beginning and read the good stuff. We ALL have the ability to strap on some imaginary hover shoes and float to higher ground.

All the time.

We can shift our focus through a deep breath, a gentle rolling of the shoulders, and an easy mantra:

"I am sufficiently excellent at being me."

Many blessings and much love,
♥ K.

Today's Joy in Pictures

               

            Laughter is the best medicine.
          
                                                                                
  It's better to laugh than cry.       


     The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
                                                                                                          e.e cummings


Eventually all the pieces will fall into place...until then,
laugh at the confusion,
live for the moment,
and just know everything happens for a reason.

Live (life to the fullest)
Laugh (as hard as you can)
Love (as long as you live)


      Laughter is the music of the heart.      



                                                                                                                     



                                       

Laugh your heart out...
Dance in the rain...
Cherish the moments...
Ignore the pain.
Live, Love, Learn, Forgive, and Forget...
Life is too short
To live with regrets
blinkyou.com

Bless yourself with laughter today. Be as outrageously silly and joyous as you dare. Your heart will thank you, your belly will thank you, and even if you let loose in public, and everyone thinks your CRAZY, people will thank you for adding a bit of ludicrousness to their day.

We all need some absurdity now and then.

Truly, laughter is what will save us all. 

A Ha Ha Ha and a Hee Hee Hee to you!

♥ K.